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10 Steps to help you get over your Ex!

I recently had a chat with my friend’s (both men and women) and we were having an interesting conversation. A number of them have had relationships that have led to heartbreaks and breakdowns. Some have sworn to never get into relationships again. I remember one specific comment, “If you want to live a happy life, never fall in love.” “It’s not worth the effort.”

I beg to disagree.

Dating is fun. However, it can also lead to heartbreak. You often end up with people who are full of lies or believing you can change them to fit your desires. But that’s just how life works. To love or fall in love is a risk you take and chances of you ending up with a great person or worse is very high.

Now that we have established heartbreaks can visit you anytime without warning. How do you deal with the pain? If you’re always getting into constant fights, face criticism and rejection from your current or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. This article is for you.

Cry
Do not keep all the raw and painful feelings bottled inside you. It’s okay to express your emotions. And what better way to do that other than crying your heart out. But give yourself a time limit. Wallowing in self-pity for a long period can lead to depression and that is not what we are after here. Giving yourself time to heal is therapeutic especially if you’re still in love with your ex.

Keep off social media
Okay, that is almost impossible, but you can tweak your social site’s settings and hide him/her from your notifications. This will keep you sane instead of stalking him/her throughout the day.

Talk to someone
Hit up your best friend or someone close and talk about it. Talking about how you feel to someone who understands the pain you’re going through will make you feel a lot better. King Solomon, said, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.”

Don’t over react
Now, this is important to note. Don’t go sending him endless messages, calling him at odd hours of the night or showing up at his place unexpected. Embarrassing yourself will not help the situation. Instead, use the time to take care of yourself. Go for some pampering, maybe shopping (if you can afford to squander some few dollars) or a day at your favorite spa will relax your mind.

Go out
Your heart is broken and you are sad, as a matter of fact, you are devastated. But that is not the end of the world. Fix your hair, your makeup put on your pretty dress and go out there and have fun. Enjoy life. After all, you only live once. So go out there, meet new people, flirt and just have fun.

GO OUT AND HAVE FUN

Take up a hobby
Do you have something that you have always wanted to learn but for some reason, you have not managed to do it? This, my friends, is the perfect time. If you wanted to learn German, Swahili, read a book, play guitar or cook. This the time to challenge yourself. It will help you forget your troubles and as a bonus, you will equip yourself with a new skill.

Avoid the ‘call’ trap
He’s probably at his house reminiscing on the good old times you two had (you’re probably doing the same, anyway) and he will pick up the phone and call you. Here is how it goes; “Honey, I miss you so much.” You pick up the phone and get all lovey-dovey with him. Next thing you know, you’re in bed together. Silly you! You think you’re back together but the reality dawns on you and you end up heartbroken all over again.

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In short, do not answer his calls, do not call him and keep off his favorite joints.

Delete old photos
To make the breakup recovery more effective, get rid of your ex’s pictures from your phone, Facebook and anywhere else you might have placed them. The more you view their images the more the memories you too had together come flooding back, making it harder for you to move on.

Have an open mind
Just because you’ve had a bad experience with your ex doesn’t mean everyone will treat you the same way. You might not be ready to move on just yet, but let someone else be nice to you. Be open to going out for dinner dates and movie nights when invited.

 

Bonus
Even thought you might still be in love with your ex, keep in mind that he/she is not the only human on the planet. He might feel like the only man for you but in reality, there is always someone better out there for you. After doing all the above thing, you are now ready to move. Keeping in mind that there are so many nice men and women out here.

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9 Last Minute Valentine’s Day Ideas

Valentine’s Day is already here with us guys. I cannot explain the number of chocolates and flowers I am seeing everywhere I go it’s making me dizzy (Wonderful dizzy). Restaurants are jam packed and the traffic is crazy. Hawkers are in every corner of Nairobi town selling pretty teddy bears, pink and red hearts and flowers. I have been married for 3 years now and I have come to understand that Valentine’s Day represents love, calmness, and joy.

Just because it’s Valentines doesn’t mean it has to be a nerve-racking day. A lot of people take Valentine’s Day as a matter of life and death – literally. Females will put unreasonable demands to their males and vice verse. Men on their side will feel the pressure of spending money that maybe they don’t have to meet the demands of their better halves. This is a day and moment of love and sharing and catching up.

Here is the ultimate list of Valentine’s date creative ideas I have compiled for you that will give you a memorable, fun and stress-free date.

Buy gifts
It’s Valentine’s Day after all. By all means, if you can, go all the way. Buy the boxes chocolates, flowers wine and everything and enjoy yourselves.

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Take kids to your parents and stay home
Find a relative or a babysitter to stay with your kids for a few hours. This way, you will have some free time to relax with your partner, cuddle on the couch and watch a movie, order take out (pizza). This is a guaranteed, romantic hustle free Valentine’s day.

Volunteer
Valentines doesn’t have to be all gilts, glamor, flowers and chocolates. You can work together to clean up the environment by helping with river or park clearing up. You’ll feel proud of the work that you will have accomplished.

Plan an Outdoor Activity
This a great way to stay active and keep fit. You can go for swimming, camping, walking, fishing, hiking and rock climbing.

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Plan an Indoor Activity
You can bake together, learn how to make homemade chocolate from online, cook foreign meals or play chess or any other game that you love. It’s fun and exciting to spend the day just the two of you and reconnect.

Visit the Park
I can mention a few places you can go with your partner and just have a nice quiet time together. There is Nairobi National Park if you’re in Mombasa; you can go to Haller ParkHaller Park just to mention a few. Here you are free to talk, eat, laugh, feed some watch and take photos of wild animals and go on nature trails. It’s a fun and memorable experience.

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Have Valentine’s Day party
Valentine’s Day is not limited to your partner alone. You can invite friends over for a nice small get together. Have each person carry a dish and drink or you can provide for them. Create lovely memories with your friend and laugh the day or night away.

Picnic      
Cook a nice fancy meal. Google the recipe if you must, pack up some nice wine, food, fruits, and bread. Doesn’t have to be fancy; you can do sandwiches, or just buy fast food and enjoy your meal as you watch other lovebirds enjoy their Valentine’s Day as well. It’s a perfectly romantic Valentine’s Day.

Got to the Beach
If you live near a beach. You, my friend, are the luckiest person I know. Just being at the beach is great and relaxing. Enjoying the water, tropical fruits and basking in the sun is everything in life.

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Go through Memory Boxes/Photographs
In this day and age, everyone has their photos stored on their smartphones and all these amazing storage software’s that have come up. But having the old school way of storing images is still a great idea.

Spend the day arranging and going through the stories of your families. Look through images, a joke at the reminders you come across and appreciate how far you’ve come together. It’s cute and romantic to stay up to date with your past.

Valentine’s Day is all about relaxation and enjoying the company of your loved ones despite the situation you’re currently in and create some amazing memories.

Do you have other ideas for outdoor or indoor activities that you have and would like us to experience? Please share in the comment section.

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Merry Christmas

Top 10 Secrets to Dating Younger Women

 

So today, I want us to address the ‘touchy-feely’ topic on older men dating younger women or vice versa.  Now, let’s get one thing clear here. I am not talking about younger women dating married men, nor am I encouraging such behavior.  But it has come to my consciousness that these days the knowledge of young women dating older men hardly raises an eyebrow.

Naturally, women who are younger have this clear, definite appeal that goes past the “physical beauty” when going out with older men; you get an entirely different FEELING. Younger women carry an amazing refreshing youthful and energetic air to all aspects of your life.

But first, we need to define, what we mean by “much younger women.” These girls are usually between the age of 20 – 25, and it’s very much possible to attract and date them.

I have observed with much amusement how older guys are going through a tough time trying to please these young ladies.

So if you’re an older guy – possibly between the ages of 30 – 40 – and you want to meet far younger women, here is my list of top 10 secrets to getting you started.

  1. Dress well
    A number of men between the ages of 35 – 40 are most likely faced with, uneven skin tone and a body out of shape and they have not given a second thought about their physical appearance. Unfortunately, they tend to try to keep up with the trends of the younger men in dressing. Making you look like a desperate and needy man.

    So just stop. Now is the time for creating a capsule wardrobe, investing in the smooth canvas of smart, high-quality, unique pieces that won’t hide your distinguishing features. You’re old and wise enough to know better.

  2. Be calm and relaxed
    When you come across a young woman you feel attracted to, and you stop acting like “yourself. “ you will perform all manner of things when you are nervous and start saying things like;

“Young people nowadays are so ____.

Thus, making your date feel uneasy and give her the Heebie-jeebies. So relax, take a deep breath and have a good time.

  1. Be open about your past
    Whether you are divorced, have kids or had a long stint in a sanctuary for the criminally insane. Obviously, there’s no one perfect, but just because she has not had the same experience, doesn’t mean that she won’t be able to relate to your issues and life; open up and she might surprise you with the wisdom and advice she has to offer.
  2. Watch how you talk
    Younger women tend to end up being attached to older men quickly and easily because they are not in control of their emotions. As a rule, avoid seeing her more than three times in a week if you can help it, and keep your interactions limited. Otherwise, she will end up being dependent on you.
  3. Don’t assume you know better
    Keep a check on your tone; you may think you have all the answers, but don’t be patronizing, be supportive instead. Otherwise, this will lead to additional arguments that you know you have little experience in handling them.
  4. Don’t be taken advantage of
    I’m saying this with much caution because unless, of course, you would like her too – it’s totally fine. This applies if you want a short relationship – VERY SHORT relationship.
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    Otherwise; you know what you are looking for, a young woman who is impressed by the size of your “heart” or “wallet”. This way, you will know when to meet her demands and when to avoid them. She is a woman after all, not a kid.

  5. Establish boundaries
    It’s obvious that you are older and in a different stage in life, so if you’re just enjoying a short relationship, make sure she isn’t shopping around for wedding dresses.

Also, if you’re getting attached and she’s probably leaving for her further studies overseas or something, for maybe a year or two, you should probably have a great time and not have the awkward conversation about “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  1. Don’t take advantage
    Please, don’t be the “icky older man” that “tries something” with her. She has probably encountered one of those types of people.

That’s why, when you’re going out with a young woman, you have to be VERY-ALERT, funny and any unpredictable behavior will put her off for good.

If you attempt to take advantage of her or make a questionable move too early, you’ll alert her you have “pervert traits.” You will lose her trust, and she might end the relationship before it even begins.

  1. Don’t be possessive
    When courting younger women, keep in mind that they have their lives outside your relationship together. Don’t go to see her unexpectedly at her workplace. Don’t embarrass her unless you want an attractive young woman to disappear from your life because of your insecurities.
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  2. Be the Leader
    As a rule, women aren’t impressed by men who don’t take charge, and that rule applies to younger women too. In most cases, younger women do not have a sense of the right direction in their lives and you being the older and wise. Make the right and informed decisions.
  3. Expect change in her as time goes by
    In case you are going out with a younger woman, keep in mind that her life will keep changing over the next couple of years. Expect and encourage growth, and urge her to follow her dreams and become who she wants to be.

It has been said that girls mature faster than guys; furthermore, research has shown that younger women prefer to date older men. And that is proven by the trend nowadays, seems like older men are like gold dust on the dating scene right now. After all, age is nothing but a number. Learn to enjoy life. You only live once.

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