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TONEWBEGINNINGS

Empower.Love. Faith. Connection.

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April 2017

9 surefire ways to get over a breakup

I love the tips you gave.

justanothersinglegirlinlondon

In my short 25 years of life I have been through my fair share of breakups; some initiated by me, some expected, some completely out of the blue. But what I have learnt, over time, is that following the below steps are key to allowing yourself to move on and not wallowing or clinging to your past.

Grieve – set yourself a time limit and use that time to properly grieve the relationship. Cry as much as you need, rely on your friends/family and reflect on the relationship. It might sound strange to suggest doing this, but if it doesn’t happen at the very beginning, it will only end up happening at a later stage of the moving on process.

Reflect – even if someone has broken up with you and you were madly in love and didn’t see it coming, try to take a step back and reflect on…

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How to get the right bra fit and size

Believe it or not, 80% of women wear the wrong bra. Nothing feels heavenly like wearing a bra that fits you well. In the past, I used to wear any bra I came across as long as I saw it ‘fit’ me well. As a matter of fact, I would wear bras that would make me feel uncomfortable, unhealthy, some would irritate my skin or cause me back pain. I was not really focused on my bust size and shape. I found out the hard way when I developed chest pains caused by the metal straps and underwire.

Here, I will give you comprehensive advice, on how you can measure your bra size, finds the right bra for your shape and size.

Let’s talk about the anatomy of a bar

Underwire This should sit firmly against your breastbone. The center part should fit flat on your chest, comfortable and not too tight. Your underwire should fully sit on your bust and not on it. If the burst is sitting away from your bust it’s not supporting you properly go down a cup size. If your wire is scarring you under your armpits, go up a cup size.

Under band should sit straight around your body, feeling firm but comfortable with enough space to fit two fingers underneath when the hooks are fastened. If you’re under band is riding up your back or if it’s loose enough to pull away from your body, it’s too big.

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Bra hooks bra hooks help you in tightening your bra by hooking on other sets of loops as your bras get worn out or you want it to fit tighter. Also, make sure the hooks don’t dig into your back.

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Bra Cups The cup size your breast should not spill over and create a double bust effect. If they do, you probably need to go up a size or two. If the cup size looks a bit baggy, then to need to downsize the cup size.
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Bra straps everyone has their own preference but as a general rule, you don’t want them to be too tight nor too lose. They should be tight enough balance to enable you to easily slip off your shoulders.
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Common questions I get concerning bras

How do I know I am wearing the right bra?
A bra that fits you well will feel comfortable even when you get home. Unlike the ones you remove the instant, you step into your house. The center part of the bra in-between your cups should sit flat on your chest. The back band should be straight across; your breasts are not supposed to be spilling out on the top or sides. And the straps should not dig into your back.

How do I measure the size of my bra?
Use a measuring tape to measure two key areas: right underneath your rib cage and breast and around your full breasts. This will help determine your breast size and cup size.

My bra cups are bumpy and wrinkly under my outfits.
If you are noticing wrinkling under your clothes in your cups, you should downsize a cup size.

How do I know the bra fits me well?
When you remove your straps and your bra stays in place. You are on the right path.

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My bra is irritating and tight around the band.
Loosening up your band will save you the stress. Also, if you have the loosest hook on, try adjusting your band size up. By doing this, chances of you going up or down a cup size may increase.

My underwire digs into my skin
Try wearing out a soft cup bra. Not to mention, you may be wearing the wrong bra size. Check whether the wires are coming up too high under your arms. If so, your cup size is too big.

It obvious that your bra size will change yearly depending on whether you are pregnant, breastfeeding or you may add or lose some weight. All these changes will affect the size of your bra. Wearing the right bra size with the right clothes will make you feel more comfortable and confident.

Always have enough different design of bras. Depending on how often you wash yours, an average should last you up to a year without getting worn out.

10 Steps to help you get over your Ex!

I recently had a chat with my friend’s (both men and women) and we were having an interesting conversation. A number of them have had relationships that have led to heartbreaks and breakdowns. Some have sworn to never get into relationships again. I remember one specific comment, “If you want to live a happy life, never fall in love.” “It’s not worth the effort.”

I beg to disagree.

Dating is fun. However, it can also lead to heartbreak. You often end up with people who are full of lies or believing you can change them to fit your desires. But that’s just how life works. To love or fall in love is a risk you take and chances of you ending up with a great person or worse is very high.

Now that we have established heartbreaks can visit you anytime without warning. How do you deal with the pain? If you’re always getting into constant fights, face criticism and rejection from your current or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. This article is for you.

Cry
Do not keep all the raw and painful feelings bottled inside you. It’s okay to express your emotions. And what better way to do that other than crying your heart out. But give yourself a time limit. Wallowing in self-pity for a long period can lead to depression and that is not what we are after here. Giving yourself time to heal is therapeutic especially if you’re still in love with your ex.

Keep off social media
Okay, that is almost impossible, but you can tweak your social site’s settings and hide him/her from your notifications. This will keep you sane instead of stalking him/her throughout the day.

Talk to someone
Hit up your best friend or someone close and talk about it. Talking about how you feel to someone who understands the pain you’re going through will make you feel a lot better. King Solomon, said, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.”

Don’t over react
Now, this is important to note. Don’t go sending him endless messages, calling him at odd hours of the night or showing up at his place unexpected. Embarrassing yourself will not help the situation. Instead, use the time to take care of yourself. Go for some pampering, maybe shopping (if you can afford to squander some few dollars) or a day at your favorite spa will relax your mind.

Go out
Your heart is broken and you are sad, as a matter of fact, you are devastated. But that is not the end of the world. Fix your hair, your makeup put on your pretty dress and go out there and have fun. Enjoy life. After all, you only live once. So go out there, meet new people, flirt and just have fun.

GO OUT AND HAVE FUN

Take up a hobby
Do you have something that you have always wanted to learn but for some reason, you have not managed to do it? This, my friends, is the perfect time. If you wanted to learn German, Swahili, read a book, play guitar or cook. This the time to challenge yourself. It will help you forget your troubles and as a bonus, you will equip yourself with a new skill.

Avoid the ‘call’ trap
He’s probably at his house reminiscing on the good old times you two had (you’re probably doing the same, anyway) and he will pick up the phone and call you. Here is how it goes; “Honey, I miss you so much.” You pick up the phone and get all lovey-dovey with him. Next thing you know, you’re in bed together. Silly you! You think you’re back together but the reality dawns on you and you end up heartbroken all over again.

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In short, do not answer his calls, do not call him and keep off his favorite joints.

Delete old photos
To make the breakup recovery more effective, get rid of your ex’s pictures from your phone, Facebook and anywhere else you might have placed them. The more you view their images the more the memories you too had together come flooding back, making it harder for you to move on.

Have an open mind
Just because you’ve had a bad experience with your ex doesn’t mean everyone will treat you the same way. You might not be ready to move on just yet, but let someone else be nice to you. Be open to going out for dinner dates and movie nights when invited.

 

Bonus
Even thought you might still be in love with your ex, keep in mind that he/she is not the only human on the planet. He might feel like the only man for you but in reality, there is always someone better out there for you. After doing all the above thing, you are now ready to move. Keeping in mind that there are so many nice men and women out here.

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