I was trying to be patient with myself. Asking God all kinds of questions and not getting any answers. ‘I thought this was now going to be easy.” I thought to myself. I had done my research on Google, Bing, Yahoo, literally all the search engines I could think of on what to write.
I was now suffering from information overload. I felt my energy drain from my body. I was praying and fasting for my life, family and work in general but still nothing. And then one beautiful evening while doing my chores it hit me. I was not stating and having a specific prayer intention for my blog. For the word, I wanted to put out here.
Therefore, I decided to get real with God. Have an in-depth conversation with him. I and my husband, I thank you God for such a God fearing and supportive husband. We fasted and prayed. And God showed himself to [us]. He spoke to us, and I knew what I had to write. I also took an important lesson from this experience. Reading from the book of Psalm 62:8, “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.
When I was worried, I cried, complained about bitterness and fear to God over my frustrations about everything that was going on in my life. I was telling God that he had no idea who I am. He had neglected me, and I should take a break in trusting and asking him for help. But that’s silly really, because despite this entire outburst. I know I was not telling him anything new that he didn’t know about me. I mean, I was created in his image (Genesis 1:26–27).
He sent his holy spirit to reside among us, to reveal the truth to me because of Jesus Christ; we are always connected to God. He lives in us and Jesus Christ his son, whom he sent to come and free us from sin, is right by his side. Asking us to seek his kingdom to gain knowledge, love, peace and his understanding. (Ps. 73).
God has sheltered me with Jesus Christ. He looks at me with pity in his eyes and sees me as a poor lost lady with my not so great [ 5-star cooking skills] He sees me as his dutiful, beautiful, hardworking, sinless, wonderful daughter. And He loves, cares, trusts and accepts me because of Jesus Christ. I can truthfully talk to him about anything and everything unashamed.
Do you at times find yourself in this unexplainable confusing situation? Have you found the courage, freedom, and strength of just taking the step of being honest with him?
Do you ever find yourself sewing fig leaves in a feeble attempt to hide from God? Have you experienced the freedom of just being honest with Him?